ytd cry until so tired go slp my mum saw me keep asking y i dunu hw to explain jus say we nt suit each other!!! she told my father! dad say alot of sarcastic words i dunu is comforting or wat bt it sound so hurtful.... dad ask if he say patch wat will i do i know he wanted te ans t b no coz he dun wan me to b treat like a rubbish or soft toy when he wan he take back dun wan throw away.... bt i hope he will say patch coz i already decide long ago after sh... problem i promise myself i wont let him feel sad i will bear all te pain i will protect him i will love him i wont run away wif other guys i didnt force myself to do it i do it willingly so haha.... was so naive tot tat i will be wif him forever.... i guess his dad should be quite happy ba.... my parents was shock y i didnt cry!! i did cried bt is without anyone ever since pri 6 i told myself nt t cry infront of anyone.... te incident is my dog left me it was meant t b a bdae present at tat tim te dog is my only fren!!! i nv talk since sec 1.... pri 5 & 6 i talk to dog... haha... 4 yrs nv talk le sumtim i talk i really scare i will hurt ppl sec was been bully until jialat jialat rmb once someone put dragonfly on my head i scare until like hell v angry wanted to scold tem bt tere was no voice i cnt do anitin rmb tere was someone protect me bt turn out was a lie!!! she jus wan me to help her borrow this n tat in te end she didnt return i dun haf her num she quit school haha....
till sec 3 i get t noe luo n qi n rehana n sutina n ranu n bin han n alex n gabriel n alex lau n randy they were all frm nex class due to their results come t a better class which is my class more gals le haha dunu they talk to me or i talk to them i noe in my heart tere is a feeling tey wun b like te rest i more close to luo as we always joke bt tat tim i always tell qi frens n frens stuff i tink she dunu ba as i nv tell her.. all tis are feelings only.. i didnt really go thru tat lot.... happy memories is on pri 1 to 4 when i n my few best frens were in same class... go pri 5 le tcher keep scoldin me as i nv resist.... stupid, idiolt go home also same nt much different mum also like tat scold me... haha so startin i dun wan to talk slowly dun feel like talkin n then i dunu how to talk... haha... books were been thrown n torn tables were always so dirty etc i nv cry.... so i assume i wun cry again le... after tis i went to work a job tis yr she v unreasonable on te day she scold me until like i m useless like tat... i v angry i go off... my dad come fetch me i cried out of a sudden de... tey all scared coz tey nv see me cry b4 ever since pri 6.... she went to complain until te in charge dun wan work le..... haha...
hope tat i dun cry animore morning wake up first tin is cry haha.... i dun feel like slpin le as long as i close my eyes mind always flash back wat happened.... until te tears will drop even jus staring in te air te tear will come out also playing viwawa also will cry listen song watever i do will also but after leaving tis rm u will c me laughin coz mummy in.... i force myself to laugh until i v tired le... he saw me cried tats te first tim i cry infront of ppl he purposely make me cry.... i cry until i cnt stop ytd dun dare to take transport!!! scare i cry so i keep taking cab...... haha... hope he will say patch i will be waitin
i dreamt about you and me9:11 AM.
