This few day a lot of things happen i wanted to go make a spec but in the end they check and said that can't get my degree so I went to another optic shop to test turn out there is something wrong with my eyes I might be blind if I go later so I will have to go to alexandra hospital to make an eye checkup n get medi lol didn't expect this to happen and ah Ma after operation due to hospital lack of experience ah Ma will have to go clinics hospital for aproper dressing because the place that is been cut has an infection lucky I did not go to Cambodia lol bad luck hai.....
Now on my way to Alexandra hospital with lao gong and uncle wake up at 7 plus in the morning damn bloody tired ahlouz like that my 1 month holidays gone la fuck.... Thought I will be able to watch the just another pandora box now computer tv books can't even see or read la ass hole.....
i dreamt about you and me1:44 PM.
Recently keep crying and feel like crying so much I think must be giving myself too much stress liao so stress I dunno What to do feel like cutting hair make a new me haix but make a promise not to cut hair anymore haix.... Need to fetch wei wei sianx haix.... Shitty Sis m I I just simply dun wish to be it rubbish my temper is becoming worser hope I will become better haix maybe I become Huili then she become me haha.... Hee this is the number 201 post yippee it's alr me posting hitting200 Liao incredible isn't it?
i dreamt about you and me12:58 PM.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
i go find u because i miss u dont u understand?? i want to see u.... my mission at ah ma house is to help all i can n ah ma dun allow im in the middle im so tired im so sad when u say i need to cook 6 hours like ur mum u think ur mum loves to cook?? she cook because she wants u all to eat she cook so long cause she wants u all to feel its nice she dun mind staying in there 6 hours to just cook a meal u noe that 6 hours what can she do?? u do not have any idea u just think we woman are slow....
i dreamt about you and me7:32 PM.
i do not know what i m talking about so stress haha.... see i m laughing so fine..... never this good... anyway nobody's worrying whatever anything do all the fcuk u all want i dun give a damn...
i dreamt about you and me4:51 PM.
i feel so lonely now so lonely so lost do not know what to do if i did not encourage myself to fall for u i will not lose so many things lose the independence i built up lose the balance of my life again i fall in love again mummy taught me to not treat him so gd but at the same time treat him gd i guess we r going to break up if im going to break up i hope i will never fall in love again... i was alone u all found me in the lost world teach me how to smile now after i have learnt u all abandon me.... everyone is abandoning me i feel so lost so lonely crying right now.... if it was not perry i wouldnt know what is a princess lives.... i hope i never knew.... treating people gd is so difficult treating one gd i always gain nothing but scolding.... scolding is always what i got thats y i want to change... but changes do make myself look stupid useless anyway cailing was never useful.... if i knew all this from the start i rather die of loneliness.... just wish cailing could die now n disappear.... was cutting vegetables feel like stabbing myself .... i m so pathetic... i just merely want a simple love i m not imagining things but lao gong keep saying i am.... u r worried even u noe i m fine thanks lao gong im glad in the phone how i wish i could just tell u keep worrying dont stop but this request is simply too much u r so tired cant take it anymore im happy so glad so glad.... im laughing with tears words get blury cant be seen.... help my mum get scolded help my grandma get scolded just keep getting scolded if u all wan cailing to disappear pls inform me i wish i can disappear too.... lao gong playing tennis!!! he didnt sms me too i wasnt angry.... y y scold me y angry with me y u people just dun understand cailing is crazy she gone mad while typing she is sad devastated she cant see whats gd alr all she can see is bad bad negative negatives.... cailing is gone she never exist in the past she do not want to live in the present she was not here all along!!!
total bullshit stop lying to myself i dun give a damn....
i dreamt about you and me4:25 PM.
i dreamt about you and me10:43 PM.
Sad at first wan go BBQ de cause thinking of going beach long time haha... But did not go for some reasons hai nvm...
Today fcuking irritating damn fcuking angry la walou she is a total idiolt she say dun do this then u all still do isn't this thing important to me still say dun let him see but u all let him see BULLSHIT u all r shit.... Then I already generous enough to lend him and u all still say I du LAN obvious la but I steady lei... U call me say Monday return what can I say of course say anything la then u still say me no manner older Liao like shitty attitude fcuk u!!! Then u come back return I say no need then u insist then I also Bo Bian then u still show me lj face wan return still like that... If I have shitty attitude very selfish is u teach me de.... Is all ur fault that I change.... I really dunno what u wan from me or expect la... Morning wake me up ask me u wan go on sat or mon I say anything u say choose 1 I choose sat u say y dun wan mon I say then mon la u scold me make up my mind I say up to u u say dun say that lol so what should I say?? U give me choice like no choice like that!!!!
But today happy worx I went to kinokuniya n comics connections bought 10 comics hee happy=) comics comics yippee....
i dreamt about you and me10:09 PM.
finally can use itunes liao damn troublesome sad some songs cannot put in nvm.... at least can use haha....
will be staying at ah ma hse until friday!! not bad....
i dreamt about you and me4:15 PM.
puppy's new photo using iphone to take clear gd!!
lao gong buy for me de cute?? love it hug it every night
i dreamt about you and me2:03 PM.
In ur eyes I was nv gd nv perfect even I did my best is not enough is not that I did not done my best to get the praises is u nv see me in ur eyes what I do is always wrong sometimes I wish I could just disappear... I'm just human simply a human y cant u just understand that? Sometime how I wish to just tell u but u nv seems to listen people don't care u do not care too so what for I tell u I do not need care n concern an orphan Like me do not need any of that I have family I have classmates bf friends but after everyday went back it's just an empty shell without anything people laugh around I can feel their laughter but sometimes I think why aren't me the one laughing.... I have long lost that laugh I guess i just want to use my empty smile n happiness emotions to cover that emptiness in me....
Crying in the rain is because I do not want anyone to see my tears let the rain wash away it unknowingLy....
i dreamt about you and me1:45 PM.
walou mummy wake me damn early la kauz just to help her take cigarette la louz..... shit sia i take down still let her scold lol......... fark.....
today going concert dunno how is it like although i went to band concert but not guitar dunno good ma.....
haha found this mixpod not bad worx i wan choose itouch de but too big liao haha wan choose the bear but then no video then bo bian liao i choose the same color as my blog skin nice?? haha love the skull n the sliver!!!
ytd went to watch cop out damn funny haha.... nice!! ytd was our 7th month anniversary happy but i think i hit him too hard sorry lao gong didnt mean it!!! sad then at night lao gong get scolded by his mum because of the taxi stuff.... hai bad day no wonder they say number 7 bad luck hai...
lucky the next 1 is 8 hee!!!'
justin bieber song not bad go listen ba haha... i like jason derulo in my head!!
i dreamt about you and me9:46 AM.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Go check the weather just now Fuji is snowing hk weather damn bloody cooling wish I was there the Disneyland n the ocean park I love the ocean park love the fishes there it is so cool!!! There is this fish I love it so much dunno I got take the photo Ma will post it up soon....
i dreamt about you and me10:05 PM.
That time she ask want go Cambodia Ma Walou I wanted go badly cause I believe will be fun la... Ah Ma had her operation on Monday went to c her she look pale but she can still talk all that after exam straight go to hospital she laughing talking so loudly la like the usual ah Ma.... Happy happy hee today she discharge from hospital was suppose to fetch her but mummy brought the job so got to stay at home finish up hai.... Friday going concert Lou the ticket ex la spend my 30 dollars for tat but nvm la she happy can Liao bringing my lao gong n my sis go... N fri got BBQ dunno wan go or not go like quite sian but I wan go beach sob.... Rmb my bday went to beach too hee I love the cake so much haha
i dreamt about you and me5:06 PM.
just saw qi tag me maybe i noe what is the misunderstanding maybe is this one ba haha... maybe all the way is just me being the stupid bitch ba... maybe its just me do not noe how to speak up to me talk is just so difficult lao gong asked me to talk to my mum but what i can talk is only crap maybe this is just the problems... i m the one hu doesnt speak n dunno how to... but i guess she leave me is better for her ba afterall im not a gd fren!!! being a lousy fren is all i can do ba maybe this is the reason i do not have any frens!!! im sorry to all one day cailing will disappear just bear with a bitch like me a while more ba....
lucky i still have puppy sometimes i talk to her she seems to understand she comfort by licking me isnt she sweet lucky mummy daddy love her if not i guess i also dunno what to do... no wonder they say dog is human best frens..... indeed thx puppy love u.... being so kind, stay by my side buy u more treats k!!! =)
today exam all the best to everyone wish me lucks too!!!
i dreamt about you and me12:33 PM.
she the band got new songs out this is nice hee=) here is the title and the lyrics.... lyrics might not be full.... love ella she so cute.... american idol big mic voice nice nice!!! must watch!! forgot after listening to what song out of a sudden felt so sweet so in love n love my lao gong more.... lie down hugging feel so happy haha...
只为爱上你
如果说这世界不够完美不够好
一定是在等我们
亲手给它变得美好（爱上你~）
就像爱 看起来 会那么少
一定是在等我们 (爱上你~)
一起勇敢寻找
一起找到 一片片落叶
为开出个花园
手牵手挨过整个冬天
每只蝴蝶 为了飞
为了翩翩起舞
先做一个茧 最美海岸线
总是要很蜿蜒
才足够让人忘返流连
你的身边 要不是
比天边还遥远
勇气怎么出现
当你终于走到我的面前
完成所有的画面
就算苦辣酸甜尝过一遍
只剩喜悦
只有我了解这幸福感觉
美得值得付出一切
能够遇见你 认识你
喜欢你 爱上你
感谢我每滴眼泪
只有你明白我有多珍贵
好得值得你为我改变
让你继续温柔交换我灿烂笑容
一天一天
到永远那一天
如果说这世界不够完美不够好
一定是在等我们
亲手给它变得美好（爱上你~）
就像爱 看起来 会那么少
i dreamt about you and me1:18 PM.
hee dream come true =) gonna stay until tues yippee
i dreamt about you and me1:13 AM.
having this job!!! u do 3000 got 90 bucks its kind of a good deal.... its not very difficult i finish it quite fast so i was kind of happy.... haha my lao gong came to help me do so far i think we finish like almost 4000 le ba haha... thanks lao gong hee =)
tmr going to stay over at lao gong house hopefully can stay until maybe like tuesday then go school together hee=)
is this world just black n white??
if its not y to me,
its like colors r gone a few time??
is it because they don't want to stay with a bitch like me??
如果世界真的如此美好
为何会被抛下?
如果世界真的如此美好
为何会被遗忘?
如果世界真的如此美好
为何会伤心?
如果世界真的如此美好
为何要丢下我??
i dreamt about you and me10:41 PM.
didnt want to clarify but keep thinking feel theres a need for it.... people keep misunderstanding me.... it feels bad hai....
this sentence mean the old me as in the kind one that help people even i noe they r using me...."i am sick and tired of te old me"
friends like ad, al, phang, zheng hui, xiao hei some of phang frens, my secondary school friends not included huili shi qi luo rehana bing han n those i consider my good friends"friends are useless to me now they used me as a tools"
trying to defend myself i guess no wrong ba... "i believe i can act like them one day why must it always be me the one that get hurt nah thats old stories new stories began new me!!!"
feel better somehow...
older post said nobody listen to me not included huili she listen to me most of the time it just that i do not noe how to speak it out when i talk to lu i do not know where to start first different school liao so i say also no use same goes to s.... sec talk to her she will never listen its always her n her only.... i was never involved.... maybe i have not change much i just being more selfish for the first time put myself in the center of attention... hoping for a guy that love me dote me n he is here so being selfish.... im sorry for those that i have ps.... but this is cailing first time feel that in her whole life she is important she is being noticed... i guess apologized isnt enough!!! i asked u all out too... accompany u all more than u all accompany me i think i feel i realise if i didnt then maybe im not the old cailing ba.... this include everyone i treat good too like meiling, huili, luo, shi qi, cheng zhang n others... i noe u all see le will angry but if u all dunno then u all will feel i m referring u n get angry with me.... but i hope to let u all noe that feeling even u all r going to b angry!!!
being selfish recently ad and al ask me to help him i dont think there is a need first u r just a nobody to me i dont think when i need help u will help me lo.... was thinking about last time when i help others even they call me to help them print or what i will help cause i do not want others to hate or dislike me but now go ahead cause u all r not the first.... was thinking of my ex and some past i helped u so much but u used me as a tool isnt it?? maybe at first but so what the fact u used me before doesnt change!!!!
was thinking m i a bitch or what to say all this afterall i m the one willing to help but not blaming others now just think through....
i guess if m saw this she will be angry or pissed off i dunno but this is the gap that is between us.... i dunno she got use me or not but im sure she does when things turn bad with l didnt u come to me?? when things turn good u went back isnt it.... y i didnt talk to u much is this reason of course i got no rights to say anything about u because i might did that same thing before....
"if i got gossip u all so what u people also gossip about me what some just right in front even i noe i deserve it i still feel sad so nobody care.... gossip all u want if u all want say it infront then i welcome u!!! if i m fake a bitch a backstabber or whatever u all can think of so?? aren't u all the same fake bitch an ass or what u all never gossip others n still be fren with them act as if nothing happen meh?? if i ps u all didnt u all ps me??" own feelings did not refer to anyone got to say it clearly!!
just called zheng hui to fuck off say wrong number... who do u think u r stop contacting me when u just look through ur contact list i pei u last time even i dont feel like going out... but u also dun do the same thing i can do the same too... if i m last one u wish to contact dun contact la.... i dun need that neither do i need ur accompany..
i dreamt about you and me10:40 AM.
